A Day in the Life: Reflections

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Father’s Day. Yes, I know, it’s a Hallmark holiday, intended primarily to sell cards and merchandise, candy and chain saws. All the same, I reflect on my relationships with my beloved late father and my not-beloved ex (father of my children), both of whom profoundly influenced my life, past and present.

My father, dreamer.
Coffee, toast, mornings with Dad.
My earliest hero.

Home, just off the train.
Open arms for his princess.
Beechnut peppermint.

Watching Wagon Train
Death Valley Days and Gunsmoke
sitting on Dad’s lap.

Trips to the hardware
Singing with Benny Goodman
on the radio.

Raking leaves, yard work
Tinkering in the garage
White collar, hands on.

Encouraging me
to follow my dreams, do what
I loved. Be happy.

My father loved me
taught me well. Do the right thing.
Be integrity.

Think for yourself, be
strong, but modulate your voice
and watch your temper.

Plan your work, work your
plan. Dream big or don’t bother.
My father, dreamer.

…..

Young, stupid, married
so very naive. Smart enough
to wait for children.

Not smart enough
to see who he really was.
Very damaged goods.

Lived in his head, no
empathy. Never learned to
love or accept love.

Bonded to our first,
checked out by our second. Left
us without warning.

Half-hearted attempts,
obligatory visits,
pretending to care.

The girlfriend preferred
horses to children. Married,
disappeared for good.

Boys with no father.
What kind of role model leaves
his children behind?

Nineteen years, nothing.
No cards, no contact. His boys
grown now, good young men.

These apples fell far
from that tree. Amazing, bright
young men with promise.

His father walked out
early and never returned.
What could you expect?

His mother too wrapped
up in herself, narcissist.
Poor pitiful her.

Their apple fell right
underneath their tree, alone,
unloved, shriveled up.

Too young to know a
good apple from a bad one.
One of life’s lessons.

Another lifetime
forty years ago we said
“I do.” We didn’t.

….

 

 

 

 

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About Peace Penguin

Just a penguin on the path to choosing peace.
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