It’s raining today. Fits my mood perfectly. Warning: I’m wallowing.
Most days, I’m a pretty happy camper, not much stress, grateful for another day on the planet. Today, however, I’m feeling very blue.
I’ll admit it. I’m feeling pretty battered after eight months of one thing after another—the painful foot surgery that wouldn’t heal for three months; my nephew’s tragic death at age 46 less than two weeks later; my other dad’s health issues and move to assisted living in New York; the Florida trip to be fitted for new contacts, with its unexpected and disastrous financial consequences; influenza B and pneumonia keeping me down for a month; the death of my best friend’s father; her mother’s move to dementia care four days later; and two weeks ago, the completely unexpected death of my brother. Between life in general and my own painful physical issues, for which there seem no relief, I’m anything but happy.
Normally when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I make art, but I find myself able only to do the absolute minimum required to satisfy outstanding obligations. I’m spending a lot of time playing solitaire on my tablet, all the while ignoring the hundreds of books loaded and ready to read. I’ve neglected my gardens, and haven’t even bought flowers for the pots this spring. Worse yet, though I almost NEVER turn on the television, I’ve been watching Judge Mathis and the Home & Garden channel. I’ve become a bump on a log, a slug under a rock, a stick in the mud! My creative spark is on hiatus.